live.free

2011-06-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

Indie Songs That Made Me Smile This Year

2010-10-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

Every time Fall and Winter come around, I get into a very Indie mood. I visualize lying by the fireplace with some super chill tunes and a glass of wine, and all the lights down low. It's a great way to stay warm in the cold weather. Anyhow, here's a list of a few indie artists and tunes that made me smile this year; hope it does for you as well =D

The Weepies

Not Your Year
Please Speak Well of Me
Nobody Knows Me At All
Hideaway
Gotta Have You
All That I Want
Take It From Me
Painting by Chagall

Kings of Convenience
I'd Rather Dance With You
Misread
Renegade
Homesick
Gold For the Price of Silver (remix)
I Don't Know What I Can Save You From (remix)

Stars

Undertow

Changes
Wasted Daylight

Arcade Fire

Sprawl ii
Wake up

Phoenix

Long Distance Call
Girlfriend
Holdin' on Together
Everything is Everything

5 Awesome Places to Eat in DC

2010-09-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

By no means do I consider myself a food critic. In fact, I'm kind of baffled at how much love the average American has for food. But I figured, if I find a place that I actually like eating at, other people will LOVE eating there. So here it is guys, 5 awesome places I've discovered this year on my daily lunch outings while working in DC...

1. Vapianos - This place is awesome. Neat decor, fresh ingredients and delicious pasta made to order right in front of you. They have pots of herbs growing all over the restaurant, and it's just cool seeing them pluck them straight from the plant and into your pasta. So far I've had the Granchi de Fiume and the Filetto di Manzo e Rucola. Both were simply amazing. Another neat thing is the payment system; each person is given a card to scan their orders onto, so there's no headache splitting bills with groups. I've only been to the Ballston location, and my only minor gripe is that all seats are stool style with no back support; not a big fan of that. Expect to spend at least $14.

2. Roti - Since eating at Roti, I've never been to Chipotle again. This place just blew Chipotle out of the water in my mind. It's like a Mediterranean spin on burritos and rice bowls with 10x fresher/better ingredients. My typical order here is a Steak Sandwhich (sandwhich=burrito here) with dill yogurt sauce, which runs for $7.50 before tax. Dining in is also enjoyable with some commendable decor for the limited space they've had to work with. Expect to stand in a line extending well out the door if you get there at peak noon time.

3. Brown Bag - For lunch, this place has it all. Salads, sandwhiches, soups, even freshly cooked pasta. Seating is a bit limited, but the abundance of options makes up for that. This place has a "cute secret spot" feel to it.

4. Devon & Blakely - If you like soup, this is your spot. There must be at least 20+ different soups to choose from daily, and you can sample anything before buying. Not to mention, they have a good selection of wraps and sandwiches, salads, desserts, and a coffee bar. A Wonderful place.

5. G-Street Food - Another madly popular lunch spot for local DC workers. A large sandwich selection, and even dishes like kabobs, lamb, unique pizzas and amazing salads. My personal favorite here is the Kalbi (Korean steak kabob).

Top 5 Chain Restaurant Soups

2010-06-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, for a second there I actually forgot I had a blog. Let's try to get this thing up off the ground again.

I'm a big soup guy. I love soup, but it's pretty hard to find a good reasonably priced bowl of soup on-the-go. Over my 3 years working in DC, these are my top 5 soups:

1. Potbelly's Loaded Baked Potato - to me, this has got it all. It's loaded (hence the title) with substance, flavor, and that subtle warmth that just makes you feel good inside. Served only on Wednesday's and Thursdays.

2. Cosi's Lobster Bisque - I think this was a limited time special offering, but damn was it good. With a hint of sweet honeynut squash and actual chunks of lobster meat, you can't ask for much more from a chain store. Be on the lookout to see if this pops up on their soup menu again.

3. Met Cafe's Miso Soup - I had to throw in an Asian soup. This is by no means any special version of Miso Soup. The reason it's on here is because a bowl is free when you buy 1 lb. of sushi. And you can't beat free. What ticks me off is when people in front of me are stealing all the tofu pieces. Comon people. Check out their sister store Soho Cafe at 1901 Penn Ave NW.

4. Panera Bread's Chicken Tortilla - I love me some Chicken Tortilla, and this is the only chain store I know that serve's it, so there isn't much to compare to. I'd love to hear of better versions.

5. Bonefish Grill's Corn Chowder with Lump Crab - Okay I'm kinda reaching here since Bonefish is a bit higher class than most chain restaurants. But anyways...mmmmmm...

I'd love to hear what your favorite soups are, and which ones I've forgotten about.
Thanks!

I could totally scare my dog with this

2010-05-03T08:08:00.002-07:00

Why I'm done with dating...for now

2010-04-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

Just first want to say these are own personal biased opinions based on my experiences, and by no means fact or truth.

To me, romantic love is a very selfish thing. It's all about finding someone to fill a hole in your life, to fulfill your wants and needs, and a way to solve that 'loneliness'. And once you're involved in a relationship, a large part of your life is dedicated to a single person.

On the other hand, brotherly love extends to everyone in the world, and doesn't focus on just a single person. Brotherly love is much more productive, easily shared without drama, and can bring many people together under greater causes. Also, from a religious standpoint, Jesus never involved himself in romantic love as far as I know, and brotherly love is probably one of the key themes of the bible.

To dedicate an enormous amount of energy, time, and emotion on a single person greatly limits what you are capable of achieving in life, how you can change the world, and the number of people you can touch. I think back on the 6 years I had been dating various people, and can't really think of anything special I've accomplished. Then again, my memory is awful, but that's another story. I've been single now for about a year and a half now and have since done things I would never have imagined.

Don't get me wrong; to find and enjoy a romantic relationship with someone else is a great gift we have as human beings. So is marriage. But I'd kind of just like for people to think for one minute just how much more they could accomplish, and how much bigger their picture on life would be, if all that time and energy they spent chasing the opposite sex were redirected to something else. If you can somehow find a way to feel completely content with your life and what you have, you may just be able to get rid of that lonely feeling.

Take me away

2010-03-01T11:39:00.000-08:00

inspired by the Flyleaf album cover

Lui Doin' Work - Vol.1

2010-02-19T19:05:00.000-08:00

Alright well it's been awhile since I posted anything about my house, and to be honest, I don't really have many "before" pictures. I guess I was either lazy, or things just looked too crappy to make me feel like taking a picture. In hindsight I regret that because now everything has turned out really nice after working on things for about 2 months.
So here goes, I'll start out with my kitchen:

Before:

After:

So here's pretty much what I did:
- Replaced the old disgusting & cold tile with laminate wood. I love that stuff. It's incredibly easy to install, looks just about as good as pure hardwood, and is more durable and easy to care for. I got about 7 boxes from Costco at $30 some each. They were alot harder to install than the brand name Pergo laminate wood I got from Lowe's ($55 a box) and used for my rooms. It's more expensive but definitely worth it. I do regret getting the cheaper ones from Costco, but did save alot of money.(spent $230)
- Bought a new fridge ($500)
- Repainted all the cabinets from dull off-white to a brighter pure white. This was a huge pain in the ass. Painting cabinets is tedious because of all the corners, hinges, and what not. Plus if you don't take them down before painting, the paint will drip and leave marks. It's also really hard to paint with a brush without leaving ugly brush marks. I guess that's why most people opt to spray paint their cabinets, but I chose to do it old-school.
- Repainted the walls a bright yellow paint leftover from my parents house. It's a satin finish, Sherwin Williams Duration brand. I really didn't like using that paint. It spread really easily but it was too thin to cover anything left on the wall, so I had to use alot of primer and multiple coats, meaning lots of unnecessary work. My favorite paint so far is the Behr premium from Home Depot which I used for the rest of my house, at about $20 a gallon.
- Took down an old disgusting rectangular ceiling fluorescent light, and put in a few new ceiling lights ($30)
- Bought and assembled a new wine rack today I got from Walmart ($80) =)

So in total, I re-did my kitchen for a bit over $300, plus another $500 on the fridge. I realized that pictures really don't do any justice when it comes to showing a house. But to get a better sense of just how much it has changed, when I first moved in, I was afraid to even step foot in the kitchen because it was so gross. Now, I love being in there. The change is incredible. It's bright, warm, and clean.

Next up: Master bedroom

Social Networking has twisted the dating scene

2010-02-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

TPDHBTA: Bad Breath

2010-01-13T12:30:00.000-08:00

Alright so lately I've started this series of chats called "Things that people don't have the balls to talk about", aka, TPDHBTA. Throughout my life experiences I've come to observe various things that quietly tear people apart, or greatly irritate us, but people just don't have the courage to openly discuss it, and I just refuse to believe that there aren't solutions to these things.

Today we sit down to chat with Shaniqua (name disguised to protect identity):

Juan: Dear representative of all female human beings
Girl: ahhahahah...wat the
Juan: what is the best way to tell a girl that her breath is kickin'
Girl: HAHAHAHAHA
Juan: 50% of all my girlfriends have had stanky breath problems that were quite disturbing, and i never knew how to tell them
Juan: And I' don't mean to insult them or anything because we've all suffered this before. It's just that there must be a way to openly talk about it.
Girl: be likee, hey gf!!! u want some yummy gum
Juan: yea but see, i cant do that everytime i see them
Girl: wait, ur real gfs!?
Juan: yes, in reeeeal life
Girl: HAHAHAHAH
Girl: ur soo meannn
Juan: SEE
Juan: WHY AM I MEAN?
Juan: its not my fault that they have bad breath
Juan: and its not because they dont brush their teeth
Juan: it's because they dont drink enough water and they dont eat right.
Juan: i think girls just dont drink water sometimes b/c they dont want to pee.
Juan: i mean, u can brush and floss all day long, but it wont help if you dont drink enough water and eat right
Girl: maybe u should be like "lets go eat"
Girl: just keeep feeding them foood
Juan: one of my korean gfs drank pepsi all day instead of water....and i couldnt even kiss her
Girl: HAHAHAH
Girl: u should be like
Girl: honey..u need to drink more water
Girl: or u will shrink
Girl: so u will grow taller
Juan: that might be the most retarded thing I've ever heard
Juan: so i should just make up some stupid lie? comon...
Girl: or y dont u eat gum and just offer her one too
Juan: dude i cant make my gf chew gum everytime i see her
Juan: and what if she turns it down
Girl: welll...thats the only way
Juan: the only way!??
Girl: if she turns it down, give her a fruit
Juan: wtf
Juan: a fruit??
Girl: HAHAHAH
Girl: like an orange
Girl: or a mango
Juan: so ur telling me i need to carry around mangos and gum in my pocket
Girl: i dont believe u
Girl: HAHAHAHAH
Juan: im not lying, it was so annoying
Girl: i dont believe that ur gf has bad breath
Girl: or u wouldnt date them in the first place
Juan: dude one time we were sitting in the car
Juan: and she started talking on the phone while i was driving
Girl: it stinked up the whole car?
Juan: YES it was AWFUL
Juan: i blasted the AC just so i could drive properly
Girl: hahahaha
Juan: obviously when i first met them i didnt know about their breath problems
Juan: but i guess the more time you spend with them
Juan: and the closer u get to their mouth
Juan: the more u smell
Girl: omggg
Juan: see its things like these that come between people
Girl: ahahahahah
Girl: soo funny
Juan: and u can never talk about it
Juan: and it just silently tears ppl apart
Juan: and i refuse to believe there isnt a solution
Girl: welll i think u should just tell them honestly
Girl: i would sit down and be like, "we need to talk", serious talking
Girl: sit down, hav a notepad, and then tell her wats the problem
Girl: then on the notepad
Girl: list of things that she can do to help w/ her breath
Girl: 1. please dirnk 8 glasses of water
Girl: 2. please eat veggies and fruits
Girl: 3. please brush ur teeeth after every meal
Girl: 4. please carry some gums
Girl: 5. please use mouthwash
Juan: omg
Girl: 6. please check ur breath b4 u talk to me
Juan: well i tried something like that and it doesnt work. They get sad or defensive or hurt.
Girl: are u making this up
Girl: hahahaha
Juan: NO
Juan: im 100% telling the truth
Girl: i mean if ur breath isnt smelling so good, shouldnt they know, like when they start talking
Girl: cant they smell it from their upperlip?
Girl: hahahahahhahaha
Juan: i guess not
Juan: people get used to their own smells
Girl: sighhhh, or just offer them diff things
Girl: hav a bag of candies, say its ur favorite
Girl:so u would like to carry it around
Girl: or maybe if u eat candy or chew gum
Girl: u cant smell theirs
Girl: but ur own
Juan: that is ridiculous
Juan: so i have to transform into the Candy Man just to protect myself from my gf's stanky ass breath!?
Girl: YUPPP
Girl: that sounds like a really good plan
Girl: u should try it out
Juan: wow, thanks for nothing...

Verdict: Unresolved

Feel free to post your thoughts anonymously in the comments section.
Thank you, and I wish you all freshly breathed significant others.

Things people don't have the balls to talk about - Bathrooms

2010-01-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

Juan: can i ask u a PG question
Girl: it better be PG
Juan: when girls go to take a dump in a public bathroom, like at work, isnt it embarassing to take a dump next to someone else
Girl: ahahahah
Girl: yeahhh
Juan: like u have to hear them and stuff
Girl: thats y u go to the end
Girl: ahhhahaahah
Juan: and if the bathroom is quiet, you hear EVERYTHING
Juan: it's like a freakin conversation between bowels
Girl: welll... flush the toilet or something while ur at it
Girl: HAHAHHAHA
Juan: everytime!?
Juan: what if ur taking a monster long dump
Juan: then u waste ALOT of water!
Girl: its okieee, keep flushing it
Girl: omg, just go take ur dump
Juan: nah
Girl: please dont explode in there
Girl: i dont care, i just go
Girl: u know wats even grosss?
Girl: sometimes ppl just fart soo loud in there
Girl: i wonder if they are embarrassed
Juan: lol
Juan: its so rare to hear a girl fart
Juan: i dont think i have ever heard a girl fart except my mom
Girl: hahaahha
Girl: like old ladies
Girl: they would just peee
Girl: and then adjsfi;jsadfk;lsdjfl;asjfasdf
Girl: i would be like
Girl: wowowowoww
Juan: well yea old ladies just dont care anymore. Past age 50 is just like anything goes..let it alllll hang out
Juan: this is totally going in my blog

Verdict: Unresolved

Feel free to post your thoughts anonymously in the comments section.
Thank you, and I wish you all a peaceful bowel movement

Real Music

2009-12-16T13:21:00.000-08:00

Whenever I hear popular music on the radio lately it really pisses me off. All these girls wailing about love gone wrong , or drunk fools singing about clubbing and money. I mean seriously, there's alot worse going on in the world than breaking up with your boyfriend; at least you had one, which is more than most people. Anyways, I caught this great video of a homeless guy doing a rendition of "Creep" by Radiohead. It's emotional, and damn impressive.

Mustard sings Creep from Rex Kramer on Vimeo.

A rant about life and death

2009-12-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

I just finished playing Assassin's Creed II, and I gotta say it's an amazing game. Not only that, but it presents some intriguing religious and philosophical theories. Anyways, that got me thinking a lot about death, and how quickly someone is forgotten after they die. Recently, someone I used to see every week committed suicide. Although I didn't know him very well, it's incredibly sad to say that I don't really notice that he's gone. That got me thinking about what would happen if I died.

Well, back in my high school days there was an odd young fella named Ming-fu who one day decided to spread a rumor that I got hit by a car and died. I skipped school that day due to something depression-related, so a lot of people actually believed his story. Turns out, over the next few days about 2 people called my house checking to see if I was really dead. Both of them were youth leaders in my church, and I assume were obligated to check on me because that's their responsibility. But, outside of that, I doubt anyone would have really noticed if I really did die. There were even a few people that did die from car accidents in my high school and I didn't even notice.

So, what is the purpose of living if our lives don't leave any sort of lasting impression? Why do we go about our daily struggles and strive ever so hard to achieve goals only to disappear moments later. Much like the question, if a tree falls and no one hears it, did it really fall? If someone lived a life, but no one knew about it, did they really live?

Human beings are incredibly powerful creatures. We have the power to build skyscrapers, defy gravity, to kill and create, to alter history, to destroy nations and even planets. Yet, we go about each and every day striving to satisfy our selfish petty desires. "I want to eat this". "I want to buy this." "I want to make this much money". I want this career". "I want a girlfriend or boyfriend". "I want to visit this country". Take a second and step back and look at our existence from a larger point of view. Don't these things seem petty? And once we accomplish all these so-called goals, who will know? What difference does it make? What will it mean on our death bed? Other than the temporary satisfaction we feel, what did we really accomplish?

I feel as if society is designed as a control mechanism. We are brain washed from a young age to focus only on achieving "goals" in order to be successful. Who set these goals? Certainly not us. Most of our life "goals" are actually set by someone else. When I was born, I certainly didn't give a shit about money or desk jobs, clothes, style, material possessions. I certainly wouldn't equate jobs like being a doctor or lawyer with success unless someone told me this was so. Society has stripped away the true nature of "choice" and what it means to "live life". Society has locked us away in 9-5 jobs, stuck in various forms of debt, constantly striving to earn money. And for what? When we lie on our death beds, will we have a good reason for why we spent our lives like this? What really is the difference between dying now and living a long and mundane life dictated to us by society? If we can't discover a way to break free of this cycle and live life freely as God or whoever created us intended, then what is the reason for living?

The Lui Curse > The Madden Curse

2009-11-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

It's no secret in my fantasy league that I have the uncanny ability to curse any player I deem the face of my franchise. Sure, you might laugh it off as superstition, but the Lui Curse is no joke. It has ruined the successful careers of many players, and even their lives. Let's take a look at just how bad it gets...

Travis Henry - Since acquiring in 2007:

Has had at least nine children with nine different woman who he claims trapped him in sexual relationships to get childcare money
Addicted to marijuana, failed multiple drug tests, cut by the Denver Broncos
On July 15, 2009, sentenced to 3 years in prison for financing a cocaine trafficking op
Has to pay $4 million in fines on top of about $1.5 million per year in childcare payments
Dead broke, life is completely in ruins

Plaxico Burress - This guy was a beast over the first half of 2007, with 10 touchdowns over the first 8 games, so I traded for him. Since acquiring him for a 1st rd pick midway through 2007, he would:

Go on to record only two 100 yd games over the next year and half.
Suffer chronic ankle injuries which he foolishly tried to play through
Shoot himself in the leg with a concealed gun while at a club, and get sentenced to 2 years in prison

Kurt Warner - Hands down this guy was a beast and MVP in 2001 with the "Greatest Show on Turf". Since drafting him in the 1st round of 2002, he would:

Throw 8 interceptions and 1 TD over the first 4 games
Break his finger and hand and sit out about a year and a half
Get benched for Marc Bulger
Wander the league (Rams, Giants, Cardinals) as a backup for about 4 freakin years before finally recovering from being on my team, and becoming successful with the Cardinals.

Domanick Davis - In 3 short years in the league, this guy had the makings of a star. In the 2004 season, he recorded 13 touchdowns ( 3 games with 2 TDs) and 68 receptions as an RB (which is pretty sick). Since acquiring him:

Suffered a bad knee injury the next year
Over the offseason, doctors told him he was 100% healed and ready to play again, but for someone reason (GEE I WONDER WHY), he simply refused to play football again
Legally changed his name and quit football. Mind blowing.

Willie Parker - FWP (Fast Willie Parker) had it made. After winning the superbowl in 2005 and recording the longest run in superbowl history (75 yds), Willie had a probowl year in 2006, but has never been the same since.

After pretty much sucking the past 2 years, he
suffered leg injuries this year (Big surprise!)
Lost his job to Rashard Mendenhall.
Is a non-factor sitting on the waiver wire

Ronnie Brown (traded for a 1st rd pick) - Not much to say here. At the time I traded for him, he was the 5th best RB in the league. Since then, he

pretty much played second fiddle to Ricky Williams (A previous pothead and Rastafarian nut job)
suffered a Lisfranc fracture in his foot, and
is now having season-ending surgery. GG.

What I learned this morning at work

2009-11-18T07:44:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, surfing the internet can lead to strange discoveries in a short amount of time. Here's a little timeline of what I learned this morning when I came into the office:

1. Digg.com --> 17 things worth knowing about your cat - Cats can run up to 30mph, faster than even Usain Bolt.

which somehow led to:

2. Nikola Tesla is one of the most badass and ingenious human beings to ever live, albeit a complete mad scientist who was asexual and celibate for his entire life. This is a great read, highly suggested.

3. The Tunguska event involved an immense explosion in Russia 1,000 times more powerful than the Hiroshima bomb, and the cause is still unknown to this day.

4. The Tsar Bomba, developed by Russia, is the most powerful explosive ever detonated in human history. It was 10 times more powerful than all explosives used in WW2 combined.

5. And if that wasn't weird enough, here are eight ways to prepare your pets for war

So there you have it. I started with an innocent read about household cats, and ended up learning about nuclear explosions. I think I might get a cat for my new house...hopefully it won't result an any type of radioactive fallout.

Medical Mysteries

2009-11-12T09:13:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I find medical conditions to be very intriguing. Maybe it's the doctor side of me passed down from my dad. Anyways, I've been seeing some really odd medical conditions in the news lately, and thought I start sharing them with you as they come up.

Girl who sneezes 12,000 times per day:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health/2009/11/11/collett.va.sneezing.girl.wavy

Washington Redskins cheerleader permanently disabled after flu shot causes rare neurological disorder:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja7lCIp04YY

Home Sweet Home

2009-11-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

Well, I ended up buying a townhouse. Sure, it might be a step down from a full single-family home, but hopefully it will be cheaper and easier to maintain. I think for the next few months this blog will become one of those "before and after" photo logs of do-it-yourself home improvement. I know the one big question most of you have is "when it Club Lui going to open again?" Well, since the new place is smaller than my parent's house, Club Lui will now be known as Bar Lui, (ala the Bar Louie at Verizon Center). Not to worry, once Bar Lui is renovated and good to go, I will let yall know.
I'll kick this off with some "before" photos of the front and back:

Miracle Baby Survives Getting Hit by Train

2009-10-27T11:05:00.000-07:00

Man, that most be some story to tell to your kid when he grows up. But what kind of pressure does that put on the poor fella to succeed in life? I mean, what if 20 years later the mom is like, "You survived getting hit by a train but now you're a freakin mailman!?"

Tales from the Crypt: Halloween Memories

2009-10-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

Being that it's October, I've been thinking about last year's Halloween, and a pretty funny story popped back into my mind. Being limited on costume choices at the time, I threw on my Terrell Owens NFL jersey and decided to paint on some fake tears to make it look like I was crying. Why? Here's why:

Yea, the man's got a heart. He's a human being. Now stop hating. I only drew the tears on because I wanted my costume to be funny so ignorant Redskins fans wouldn't bash on me while I'm trying to have a good time. So basically it ended up looking like this:

So as the night went on through the clubs and bars of DC, at some point I ended up dancing real up close to some chick. Apparently her hair wiped my tears off so I ended up looking like a regular guy in a T.O. jersey.
Later that night I'm walking down the street towards the metro, and a bunch of jackasses start cussing me out. "Fuck you T.O., you fuckin' suck"....So I start trying to explain my costume like "Nah man I'm crying see, T.O. is a crybaby". Obviously there were no tears left on my face so they just kept bashing. It got to the point where I started rubbing my eyes and actually making crying noises. So, imagine me standing on the street, crying like a baby, while 3 random white dudes are pretty much dissing the crap out of me. Of course I was drunk at the time so I didn't realize how ridiculous I looked, but thinking back, that could have been one of the more embarrassing moments of my life if anyone else saw me.

My Laser Vision

2009-09-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

I sometimes think of myself as a human guinea pig for experimental solutions or adventures that most people would be hesitant to experience without prior advice. That being said, I realize I've forgotten to touch on my experience with Laser Eye Surgery last year.

Why I did it: Dry itchy eyes, allergies, headaches, and the pain of carrying contacts everywhere. My prescription was like -6.5

The Consultation: I scheduled a free consultation with TLC in Rockville, MD that was nothing less than satisfactory. They did very thorough scans and analysis of my eyes, and talked me through any concerns I had. They explained to me why I was a good candidate and did not come across at all as if they were trying to push me to get the procedure done. I'm quite confident they would turn you away if they thought you were not a good candidate for the procedure.

The Procedure: A word of advice: Take the Vicodin pill. It made the entire procedure feel like heaven. I sure wish I had a vicodin pill when they cut that cyst out of my leg when I was 8. But regardless of the drugs, the surgery was very quick, painless, and professional. In total it took about 10 minutes. The doctor laid me down, cut some slits in my eyes (which I didn't feel), led me to the room next door where the laser went to work, and voila! Done. My mom was able to watch outside via a video screen, which she enjoyed a little too much.

Post Procedure: Vision was quite blurry for the next day or so, I was instructed to wear plastic covers taped over both eyes to prevent me from rubbing or scratching (which I did not really get the urge to do anyways). I had to sleep for 5 hours when I got home to allow my eyes to heal. They gave me 3 different types of eye drops, and I had to follow a strict periodic dosage over the next 4 days. After about 4 days, my vision slowly reached 20/20 vision, which was verified during my post-exam at TLC. Eversince, I've never had to go back.

Side Effects: About 4 weeks after my eyes got to 20/20, I experienced severe dry eye. I mean like, the desert dry. Painful itchy dry. It was probably from that 2 week trip I took to Australia. I called the TLC office and they told me to use the steroid eye drops which they provided, twice a day, and the dryness went away in about 2 days. The dryness comes back every once in a blue moon, but is easily solved with the eye drops.

$$$$: The pricing was pretty shady. The lady I spoke with gave me all these random discounts which gave the impression they were desperate for business. In the end I paid around $3800 total, which was supposedly discounted from around $4600. Basically, try to get any possible discounts you can. Make something up, they'll most likely take something off. If you have good credit, you can do the 1 year zero interest payment plan, with minimum payments of $120 a month. I got perfect vision and my bank didn't even feel it.

Bottom Line: One of the best decisions I've made in my entire life. Zero regrets. Very happy. After the procedure is done, you will forget that you ever wore contacts or glasses. Bad vision just simply vanishes from your mind. It's pretty much like a miracle.

One word of advice. DO NOT go to the affiliated TLC offices. These are basically normal eye doctor offices that TLC patients can go to for checkups or consultations that are closer to where you live. These doctors are less knowledgeable and more desperate for business, and therefore more shady. He offered to give me a $400 discount if I hooked him up to speak at my work about LASIK. Go to the main office locations which are listed on the TLC website, that way you'll be talking to the most qualified professionals.

Stay Alive: 5 Inspiring Stories of Survival

2009-09-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

I've got a little fascination with survival. The human instincts deep within us that keep us going in the darkest times of hopelessness. Modern society has numbed our senses to the very point that we barely have a trace of this survivalist instinct in us. Some days, the most work we do is lift our arms to put a hamburger in our mouths. That is why I find it so amazing and inspirational when I read stories of everyday people getting stuck in the most hopeless of situations, and still finding a way to survive.

1. The Andes flight disaster - In October of 1972, a flight carrying 45 members of a rugby team crashed in the Andes mountains, killing 17 of the members. Another 8 were killed by an avalanche a few days later. Rescue missions were called off after 8 days of no success, leaving the survivors on their own. Having no food and facing freezing temperatures, they resorted to eating the dead bodies of their friends and comrades. Eventually 3 brave souls, including 23 year old Nando Parrado and 19 year old Roberto Cannessa, decided to trek for 12 days through the harsh mountains, surviving by sleeping together in a single makeshift sleeping bag. Apparently only these 3 were deemed fit enough to survive the trek. Eventually, they found help which led to the rescue of the remaining survivors.

2. The Sole Survivor of LANSA Flight 508 - December, 1971, the flight carrying 93 passengers was struck by lightening and exploded in midair, disintegrating 2 miles up. Miraculously, Juliane Köpcke, 17 years old at the time, survived the 2 mile fall into the Peruvian rainforest to find everyone else dead, including her mother. Following survival tips given to her by her father, she was able to find a stream and follow it for 9 days through the rainforest before finding help. She is now a zoologist living in Germany who studies bats. Wild stuff.

3. The Miracle Girl - June 30, 2009, Yemenia flight 626 crashed into the sea 9 miles off the coast of the Comoros islands. All 152 passengers died except 14 year old Bahia Bakari, a shy and fragile girl who could barely swim. Bahia managed to cling to a piece of floating debris for 13 hours in pitch black darkness, listening to the voices of others around her as they drowned. Bahia is the survivor of the deadliest sole-survivor ocean crash ever.

4. Cougar vs. Ball point pen - Forget your rifle, your hunting knife and your pepper spray. The ultimate fighting tool of the great outdoors is ... a ball-point. A 65-year-old Californian woman managed to save her husband's life after fighting off a cougar with nothing more than a pen. Jim and Nell Hamm were hiking in northern California when the mountain lion pounced on them. "Jim was talking to me all through this," Mrs Hamm said. "He said, 'I've got a pen in my pocket and get the pen and jab him in the eye. So I got the pen and tried to put it in his eye, but it didn't want to go in as easy as I thought it would." Mr Hamm was taken to hospital suffering multiple lacerations and two cougars were later shot by rangers.

5. The Lone Tsunami Survivor - December 2005, a Tsunami in the Andaman and Nicobar islands off the coast of Thailand killed at least 1,894 with another 5,500 missing. Michael Mangal was the only survivor found after a wave picked him up off his island, threw him into the sea, and tossed him back onto another island (Pillow Panja) where he survived for 25 days off coconuts alone.

bye

2009-09-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

I know I've been kinda missing lately, and I'm sorry to say that I'll be gone for quite a bit more. I've been fighting a personal battle, fighting the good fight if you will, but rest assured I will return if I ever conquer this menace that has been the plague of my life. My spirit is quite broken, but I'm hanging in there. Wish me luck.

Peace inside,
Juan Louis

5 Places I have been that you should definitely not go to

2009-08-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

1. Club Asia (@the Planet Hollywood Las Vegas) - I've been duped many a time by deceiving nightclub or restaurant names, but this has got to be the king of them all. As the title would hint, one would think there would be at least a few Asian people partying it up here. After debating over a $20 cover charge, we made our way pass the asshole bouncer only to find to our great dismay; there was not a single other Asian person in the entire club! Not a SINGLE one! In fact, it was like we just stepped off a plane in Africa. The club was so dark we were literally scared for our lives, and I'm not talking about the lighting. I seriously think they were selling AK-47's in one of the corners. So, yes it is official, the Africans have conquered Asia (at least in Vegas).

2. Crystal City Restaurant - Yes, that is the real name of the place. And NO, it is NOT a restaurant. The story begins on a Halloween evening, walking from the metro to my coworkers party, I decide to stop somewhere to grab some dinner. I figured this would be an ideal place seeing as "restaurant" is in the title. I probably should have noticed the "Strip" steak special ad, and the shady amigos walking in before me, not to mention the lack of any windows. I take 2 steps in the door and BAM. A$$ and t!tt!es dancing on a pole right in my face. Yea, it's a strip club, and no, I didn't stay (although in hindsight it may have been a good idea. How can you beat $14 strip steak with a good view?) Just imagine the horrified looks on the childrens' faces when families new to the neighborhood stumble into this place. That would be golden.

3. Nellie's "Sports Pub" - So I'm on my way to a concert at the 9:30 club in DC. This nicely decorated bar was a block away, so I decide to stop in for a burger. Everything's going normal, I'm using the free wi-fi, watching the wizards on TV. Then, 2 minutes into my burger, these 2 huge buff black dudes in pink dresses pop out of nowhere and start singing pop songs on the microphone, while prancing around the bar rubbing there hands over the heads of various patrons. No one seems to mind, and that's when I knew something was up. I demolish my burger in record time, grab the check and try to get out of there as fast as possible. As I'm leaving, one of the drag queens blocks my path and asks me if I'm staying for bingo. I give him a quick "no" and he snaps his figure in my face and says "fine, watev". Damn that was close. On my way out, I notice a sign on the window: "Drag Queen Bingo Night"........HOW the HECK did I miss that.....To make the night even more unusual, a gay bartender at the concert decided to give me free drinks the whole night, and told me "not to be a stranger". I guess I still had the "stink" of drag queen on me from the bar (Not that there's anything wrong with any of this...)

4. Aqua Nightclub - I don't think anything really needs to be said about this place in DC. It's a definite no-go, unless of course you just stepped off a plane from Korea and are looking for 16 year olds with fake ID's.

5. Bus Ride to the Hot Springs of HuangShan mountains in China - This 8 hour bus ride was one of the most trying experiences of my entire life. Think back on the most bumpy bus ride you've ever had, and then multiply it by 100. Eight hours of nonstop jolting and getting flung into the air by an old bus that sounded like it was 2 bumps from exploding, and literally impossible to sleep through. There were 25 year old grown women with us on our tour, and they were crying. Yes, crying. Weeping outloud. That's how unbearable it was. After the trip, I was so mentally scarred I couldn't think or speak for 24 hours.

More to come...

This guy is my hero

2009-08-26T08:41:00.001-07:00

Top 10 Most Memorable Strangers of My Life

2009-08-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

(Keep in mind these are only the ones I can remember)

Part 1: #1-5

1. Leilani the cruise ship blackjack dealer/3 day girlfriend - A 3 night cruise to the bahamas, and where did I end up spending most of my nights? That's right, at the blackjack table making back the $600 i spent on the cruise. Little did I know I would meet the love of my life. We locked eyes at first sight, and from there it was an unspoken date every night at the casino. It got to the point where on the last night I passed out and didn't make it to the tables, and she ended up asking my friends where I was. I mean, sure she was probably 32 years old, married, lived in the Philippines, and needed some dental work, but how can you turn down a girl who deals you A-10 likes it her job? Sigh...

2. Matt the Australian Sailboat deckhand - Let's just say, if I were gay, it'd be game over. I'd be crushin like Big Pun. This was one of the coolest dudes I've ever met. At one point during our 3 day sailing excursion through the Whitsunday islands of Australia, he dived into the icy waters to pull up an achor that was stuck in the mud with his bare hands. And he does it all the freakin time like it's nothing. He looks like a 28 yr old seasoned captain of the seas, but the girls were a bit dissapointed when they found out he was only 22.

3. Viktor the Vegas Taxi driver - 6 words from this wise Russian taxi driver will remain in our memory forever: "You mussst go to zee Rhino". A little googling should get you the answers you seek, but be warned. The Rhino is not for the weak of mind. Be wary, or you will go broke.

4. Zach - It was a cold dark morning on some beach in Australia, and I had been convinced to wake up at 5am to see the sunrise. It was cloudy and dark, no sun to be seen. In the distance I heard a flute playing. I followed the hypnotic tune of the pied piper, and that's how I met Zach. Walking along the beach in hippie clothes playing the flute. Zach was an odd fella to say the least. Here you can see a video of him playing that very same flute as our ship sinks.

5. LeAnn - It was a week long church missions trip in Kensington, PA. We were running a vacation bible school, and I was the head of the "cooking class". I taught the kids how to make pizza bagels, milk shakes, playdough, etc. She wrote me a note with a scribbled drawing of me with spiky asian hair. I never heard from her again. Hopefully she isn't living off pizza bagels and milk shakes, or I might not recognize her if I ever saw her again.

Just Do It

2009-08-06T10:19:00.000-07:00

So as some of you may know, way back around March I put in a contract offer for this "poolhouse" up in the Silver Spring Wheaton area. I was still a little hopped up on anti-depressants at the time, and my extremely gung-ho attitude didn't always allow me to think very logically. I had wild, elaborate dreams of bringing the beach to my house by adding a huge sand box by the pool, planting large fake palm trees, hammocks, a hotub, outdoor showers, you name it; all to create a local paradise where people could escape to and have fun.

But as the months went on with no response from the bank that owned the house, I started to think more and more logically and realized the insanity of this dream. I had constant doubts about how the house was so old and would take lots of money to modernize, and that the neighborhood was not the best. My parents and every other Christian kept telling me to "pray about it", but for these kind of decisions I never really understood what that even meant. Is God supposed to send me some sort of sign telling me not to buy it? I kept waiting for that sign, and told myself if any red light came up, I'd call it off. But all I saw were green lights. All the other houses I tried to buy while I was waiting for this one kept slipping through my fingers. Whenever I thought I found one to buy, a problem would come up to stop me. I was always left still waiting on this poolhouse to come through. And guess what, after months of waiting, they finally did. I even just spent $350 out of pocket to do an inspection, and not a single thing was found to deter me from buying it. So you know what, I'm just gonna do it... I'm just gonna freakin do it.

Sure it's a bit illogical, maybe even crazy. But the fact is, I had a dream. And I think when you have dreams to fulfill, you should follow through with them. I had a lot of dreams while I was on anti-depressants, and I followed through with every one of them with no regrets (albeit holes in my pockets). Being off pills is a completely different world. Conservative thinking sets in. Laziness sets in. Conformity sets in. Now, I'm not saying pills are the solution to life, but they sure as hell opened my eyes to a world of potential living life without worries or earthly concerns. The trick here is learning to carry over that attitude.

So, I've got my work cut out for me. Just me all alone in a single house with work to do. I think I'll get a dog to keep me company...pray for me fellas, it's gonna be a long and hard journey and hopefully my mind will stay strong with the dream. As always, I will let you know when the parties begin.

New Twilight Movie Character Casting

2009-08-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

So, I just won the role to play the new character in the upcoming Twilight film. Apparently, it's an evil villain that goes by the name of Arnold Von Schwarzenegger.
Here's a photo from the makeup room:

I think the twist to this film will come as a huge shock to many avid twilight readers. It's quite disturbing actually. Near the end, Von Schwarzenegger just pops out of no where and pwns the main characters while they're in the middle of a romantic dialogue. It's gruesome stuff. Heads flying, ketchup squirting, you get my drift. Here's a sneak peak:

Hot Chicks + Cliff Diving = BLISS

2009-07-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

So here's what I've been up to this Saturday afternoon

This is sick

2009-07-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna do this one day...

The Charles Barkley CHAOS DUNK

2009-07-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

So I've been hard at work doing some quick Monday morning net surfin...man talk about coming across the weirdest things. Apparently a sequel was made by a fan to the Barkley Shut up and Jam video game, which is reviewed here. The comments at the bottom describe the ending sequence as no less than epic. Take a look as Barkley destroys the planet with his Chaos Dunk:

Fight or Flight

2009-07-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

Photo of a stingray leaping from the waters to escape a killer whale.

This gives a whole new meaning to the term "Fight or Flight"

Rabies is no joke

2009-07-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

I just saw that movie Quarantine last week, and even though it was pretty much nonsense, I definitely learned something valuable: Rabies is no joke. 55,000 people die every year worldwide from rabies. The weird thing is, symptoms in humans could take several weeks to even a year before showing. You could have rabies for a long time before even knowing it. The thing is, once rabies symptoms start showing, death is pretty much 100%. Death almost invariably results 2-10 days after the first symptoms. There have only been 6 recorded survivors once rabies reaches that stage, not to mention having used experimental treatments. But in animals, symptoms show in about 3 days. So if you get bit by an animal, I would definitely get checked out or you could be finito if you wait too long. The further away from the brain that you get bit, the longer it takes for the virus to reach the brain and take effect, and the longer you have. Most human deaths are caused by bat bites. If it's any consolation at all, the number one carrier of rabies in the U.S. are skunks.

If there truly were to be some sort of apocalyptic zombie-like virus, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a mutated form of rabies that had highly accelerated symptoms. Just something to think about.

Club Lui 2009 Epicness

2009-06-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

Alright, so it had been a long time since I held my last event (Valentines Day I believe), so I felt like I had to push it to the next level with this one. I dropped around $500 for all the supplies, decorations, and alcohol combined, and I'm pretty happy with the overall results. Lo and behold, Club Lui 2009.

Note to self: Do not get drunk and pass out at 2am at your own party. I'm gonna let this one slide just this once since it was for my birthday.

My Boy T.O. definitely knows how to make his apologies

2009-06-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

Tosh.0

Thurs, 10pm / 9c

Terrell Owens Apologizes

http://www.comedycentral.com/

Daniel Tosh

Miss Teen South Carolina

Demi Moore Picture

So I was right afterall...

2009-06-24T13:36:00.002-07:00

from xkcd.com

2012: Teaser Trailer

2009-06-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

I think this looks pretty epic...and you can't go wrong with the Director of Independence Day.

Just added to the Apoca-Trip Lineup - Space

2009-06-18T10:31:00.001-07:00

Earth's first ever space port begins construction this Friday in New Mexico, and I am CISED. The spaceport will allow commercial spacecraft to send the public into various destinations in space. For those of you who don't know about Apocatrip, it's going to be a worldwide tour / epic vacation that my pals and I plan to take before the world ends in 2012. Just added to the list of places we will stop at; SPACE. More details on our entire plan will come soon. In the meantime, Live long and prosper.

Withdrawal can be a bitch

2009-06-15T10:02:00.001-07:00

Phew...thank GOD that's finally over with...
I know depression can be a very real, scary and painful thing...but PLEASE do some research before you start popping pills, or else you may be in for a very rude awakening...

That being said, those things have completely turned my life around and I do not regret taking them. The entire experience has certainly made me realize how important serotonin levels really are, and how real their affect on the mind is.

Certainly, if you're feeling sad because of something that happened recently, that probably does NOT mean you are depressed or in need of medication. However, years of unhealthy thinking / lifestyle will certainly lead to a significant drop in serotonin, and in those cases I do suggest talking with a medical professional.

Peace inside,
Juan Louis

Doing some Air-walking

2009-06-09T12:57:00.000-07:00

The Air Up There

2009-06-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Hey, I can dream

2009-05-26T12:06:00.003-07:00

Conversations from the Lui Household

2009-05-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

So I come down from my room to grab a glass of water before I head out to watch the Nuggets/Fakers game, only to run into another wack conversation:

Daniel: I'm not a Lui, you are my foster parents!
Me chiming in: You're right, we found you lying on the street.
Mom: Oh..you're definitely a Lui, Daniel.
Daniel: I'm not asian, I'm black!
Dad: You're a Lu-Bama!

So there you have it. You heard it from my dad's mouth first.
Lu-Bama....

Tales from the Crypt (aka the Lui household)

2009-05-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

Living with 4 siblings is no joke.

Sharing a bathroom with a 13 year-old teenage boy is no joke either, especially when he doesn't know how to properly take a dump. He's clogged my toilet no less than 5 times already in the past 4 months. I have to wake up in the morning and walk into a bathroom smelling like 10 day old sewage while I brush my teeth and try not to puke at the same time; all because my brother is too lazy to unclog it. One day I just lost it and went on a rant to my dad...

Me: "I don't freakin' understand! How is possible to clog the toilet 5 times! How does he not realize that you don't need 20 sheets of toilet paper to wipe your ass! Daniel weighs like 50 pounds, it's not like he's pooping that much! Can't you guys just teach him how to take a freakin' dump!!"

Dr. Lui: "You don't understand. It's his hard stool."

And there you have it. Yet another thing that haunts me and the Lui family.
My little brother's hard stool.

Buying gifts for women

2009-05-11T09:25:00.001-07:00

Fellas, I know it makes perfect sense to us to look for practical gifts. I mean, what better than to get someone something useful right? Well, toss that nonsense straight out the window because when you're buying something for a girl, DO NOT get something practical. In fact, you might want to get something as far from practical as possible.

Take mother's day for example. Hmm, what to get. Now see, my mom's vacuum is hurting. That joint is sucking up dust like an old man trying to sip on soup. The nobs are all broken off, its got duct tape on the wires, you know, ghetto asian style. Now I figured, man my mom spends a lot of time cleaning and stuff, so why not make her cleaning time more enjoyable by getting her a spiffy new vacuum.

Man this joint is almost like...you're glad to be vacuuming. Shoot I pretty much look forward to vacuuming now that I got this baby. But you know what kind of reaction you'll get from a women if you give this to her? "Oh...it's a vacuum". LOL. Yes, i just couldn't resist getting a practical gift...sigh. It just goes to show you how hard it is to go against our male instincts...

I don't think I should go hiking anymore...

2009-05-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

2012

2009-04-29T19:59:00.001-07:00

So I spent a few hours watching all these crazy 2012 "end of the world" videos, which led to a variety of other conspiracy theories which I will not bore you with here. But, feel free to google 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock, or other stuff like fluoride and aspartame conspiracy. All I want to say to those people who reject "end of the world" theories is, believing in these things is a Win-Win situation. Living like you will die in 3 years will no doubt force you into living a more fruitful, productive, and exciting life. And you know what? If 2012 comes around and we are all still alive, we'll have an awesome reason to have an epic celebration. There it is. A Win-Win situation. So fellas, it's time to tell ourselves that it's all gonna be over in 2012. I'll either see you in heaven, or at the Armageddon party.

My Next Cliff Dive

2009-04-27T08:15:00.001-07:00

By George I've got it...I'm totally gonna do a Double-Pits-to-Chesty for my next cliff dive stunt..."getcha popcorn ready...."

5 Facebook / Social Networking Rules

2009-04-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

Most of this is stolen from one of my favorite blogs.
Too bad if any of this upsets you, suck it up buddy, the best advice is the kind that BAM hits you right in the face.

1. Don’t go looking for pity - You should know the difference between having a bad moment and spending eight weeks with the same depressing Facebook status. You will not feel better; you will only bring down the friends who actually care about your plight. Social networking sites are not the place to throw your own pity party.

2. Hate Notes - There is no easier way to broadcast to the world that you are a hateful, angry, passive aggressive person than by publishing a hateful note ranting about someone that has ticked you off. Deal with it like an adult. Passive aggressive behavior and indirect confrontations are one of the biggest plagues of our generation, especially among Asian Americans. Vent effectively instead of trying to drag your friends into your anger.

3. Always End It in Person - There is nothing more cowardly and pathetic than ending a relationship over the phone, e-mail or text message. But worst of all, a quick change of your Facebook status without any communication with your significant other.

4. Think before you type - It's way too easy for us to type something that we would never dare say in person. Think before you type, and don't post things while angry or overcome with emotion. It will save you a great deal of unnecessary drama.

5. Don't act like a giggly teeanger - The internet has retarded our generation's social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, people "poke" each other on Facebook, or send some creepy message. While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships. If you’re over 18 and you’re still using Facebook applications to let someone know you’re interested in them, you need to be punched in the face.

Oh, and when in doubt, just use the Brad Pitt rule.

The Biiiiirdmann

2009-04-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

(Watch the video)

Alright so I've decided I'm going to start adding a new twist to my Cliff-Diving shenanigans; mid-air poses for each jump. Here's my first pose, I call it the "Birdman".

Urban Dictionary - part1

2009-04-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that common slang among guys has evolved to the point where girls can't understand what the heck we're saying. SO, I'm gonna take this time on a very busy Friday morning (*cough*) to shed some light for you ladies on some common Man-speak that's being thrown around these days:

Hurting (hAr-tING) - used to describe something that is ridiculously below standard. Was first used by the Sports Junkies radio talk show on DC 101. The worse that something is, the longer the first half of the word is drawn out (ex. "Huuur-ting")

"Man that chick is HURRR-TING"
"Get some new shoes man, those joints are Hur-ting"

Nub - Describes someone who just flat out sucks at something. One who lacks knowledge, experience, skill, or just fails at life in general.
(synonyms: nubcake, newb, n00b, noob, newbie, nubmuffin)

"Wow what a nub-cake"

A lil' bit money - something that is extremely awesome. The more "money" that something is, the more drawn out the word "money" is, and the more emphasis placed on the "m" (ex. " lil bit MMooooooney"). Not to be confused with "a little bit of money". That is used to describe being broke.

"Yo this steak is a lil' bit moooooooooh-ney!"

G.G. (gee-gee)- literally stands for "good game", which is typically said after a round of gaming. However, it is used in common language to mean "game over", or "you're finished buddy", or "you have no chance".

guy1 - "Yo man i don't think I can hang out tonight, my g/f is callin' me"
guy 2 - "oh man... gg"

PWNed (PO-wned) - Used to describe getting utterly dominated or made a fool of. Originates from the word "owned". Typically said after laying a monster insult or embarrassing someone.

"Yea, that's what your sister said last night. PWNed."

Brain Fart - Random Thoughts of the Week

2009-04-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

1. Underrated Hotties - To me, listening to a women's voice is kind of like tasting a fine wine. When drinking wine, there's all sorts of subtleties and different flavors you can take from just a small taste. When you listen carefully to the tone of a woman's voice, you get all kinds of tidbits like hints to their personality, intelligence, their sense of humor; tons of things. That's why this week's underrated hottie is Iranian actress Golshifte Farahani, the actress from Body of Lies. She's just got that voice that's so calm, smart, and caring. Not the typical singer's voice, but that's why she's underrated.

2. Songs in my head - Ever get those same songs that pop into your head whenever you feel a certain emotion? Here are some weird songs that I always start whistling or humming when these specific feelings happen:

When I feel happy - "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands"
While rushing to get somewhere - "Chariots of Fire theme song"
When I hear some really good news - "Indian Jones theme song"

I have no explanation for this other than these songs must have been burned into my memory at a young age...so wierd.

3. Why I Cliff Dive - Most people think thrill seekers are just stupid psychos that do crazy things. I like to consider myself an intelligent thrill seeker. When I cliff dive, I feel emotions and sensations that very few people ever feel. It's like doing the impossible. It's like hovering in that instant before death, and living to tell the tale. Standing on the edge of that cliff, nothing else matters. All those petty concerns and problems that take up brain-space just disappear. Being on the brink of death actually forces you to put your entire life and all your priorities in perspective within a matter of seconds. In that moment, you are in another dimension altogether. You become Man in its most raw form; un-polluted by modern society; the form that Man was originally created to be. There are no societal concerns. There is no money. There is no drama. There is only good, bad, life, death, and survival. It's like rebooting your brain to the days of Adam and Eve. There are not many greater feelings on this planet. It is a shame the majority of people do not get to experience this feeling.

This is freakin crazy

2009-04-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

And this is even more awesome:

http://www.urlesque.com/2009/04/07/the-100-most-iconic-internet-videos/

I shall not be bored at work for the next 3 days.

MVP

2009-04-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

I'm bout to cop me one of these

The future of the Wizards is here

2009-03-31T10:18:00.000-07:00

JeVale McGee is SICK. I called the pick before the draft (Dnis witnessed it) and he's surpassed my expectations. Throw in Blake Griffin and returning star Gilbert Arenas, and the Wizards are instant playoff contenders...that is, until someone gets hurt again..

The Hibachi is back

2009-03-29T17:42:00.001-07:00

Let's face it, Gilbert Arenas IS DC sports. Seeing him play on Saturday night sparked a fire in me that's been dead for so long. Thank God you are back Gilbert. DC has missed you so much. Now I can finally play ball in my "Vote for Gilbert" T-shirt with pride. I can't wait to see more of Arenas-to-McGee lobs. Just thinking about that gets me out of my seat..

Ron Artest keeps it real

2009-03-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

I just found out Ron Artest (from the Houston Rockets) has been video blogging (vlogging), so I watched a few of his clips. Surprisingly, this dude is real down to earth. He keeps it real.
I particularly likes how he addresses the recent male fashion changes, it goes something like
"why are we trying to change males into females? I'm not tryin' to have my son think he can walk around with a silk scarf around his neck and a man-purse. What's up with this female-swag? Swag is corny anyways. And I WILL NOT wear tight pants.." LOL

Choosing my house

2009-03-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

So I've seen over 15 houses in the past 2 weeks, and I've been having trouble deciding on something. My primary selection (which is expected to take about 60 days until the bank approves my offer) has a huge backyard with a long heated inground pool, but it's in the Rockville/Wheaton area. My second option is in Gaithersburg by the Air Park, a really nice neighborhood. The backyard is smaller but it has a really nice elevated deck, and the yard is surrounded by tall christmas-like trees that create a really nice sense of privacy. Pretty good spot for a hotub, but the parties wouldn't be as crazy. I'm pretty much in love with the first house because the possibilities are endless (as you can see from my earlier post), but the only question is the neighborhood. It's not like it's dangerous or anything, you just wouldn't call it nice like Gaithersburg. Here are some pics of the Gaithersburg house I just saw today. And here is a link to the house pending contract approval in silver spring.
Please help me decide!

Gaithersburg house

Chocolate Skittles the Worst Candy Ever Made?

2009-03-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

So about 4 months ago I tried Chocolate Skittles. After eating like 3 of them I felt like puking and had to throw out the bag. It was basically the equivalent of putting different shades of little brown poop bits in your mouth. Today I just saw that Cracked.com released a lengthy and bitter tirade against the new skittles...I share their pain. 4 months later I'm still shuddering just thinking about having them in my mouth.

And for the record, DON'T try them, they are THAT BAD.

Lui Beach soon to be open for business

2009-03-16T12:01:00.001-07:00

Ok so I just signed a contract offer for a house that I'm trying to buy. It's not in the most amazing of locations (between silver spring and rockville), but the backyard has a heck of potential for what I've got in my crazy mind. I've been thinking, the closest beach to us is like 3 hours away, so why not just bring the beach here? The house I'm trying to get already has a huge in-ground heated pool with a diving board. Now, all I have to add is the sand. I'd also like a deck for tables and eating, and maybe even music performances and dancing. Further behind the pool is a forest-like area that has hiking paths, a potential area for paintball, ATV's, treehouses, and perhaps bear wrestling. The picture above shows what I've got in mind, but if anyone has any ideas, feel free to let me know.
The basement, which exits to the grill area, has a bar and fireplace room that I'm hoping to turn into something special. Godwilling, the bank will accept my offer and I'll be able to bring the beach to all my friends, without going dead broke =)
Exciting things are in the works at Juan Louis Productions my friends...

The Legend of the Sandman's Waterbottle Caper

2009-03-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

It's story time kids, sit back and relax as I re-tell the infamous tale of the Waterbottle Caper of North Potomac . It is perhaps one of the most elaborate hoaxes I have fallen victim to in my entire lifetime...

(Knowing me, my recollection may be a bit off so feel free to comment and correct me)

It was a dark and windy night in late Summer of 2007. The sky was angry that day my friends. Our old pal (We will call him Chip to protect his identity) was home for his last few days of break from Med school, so we decided to take him out on the town for a good ol' time hopping some DC bars. I should have known something was awry when he met us up looking like this:
Now, our dear friend may not have the most stylish sense of fashion, but one should think it's common knowledge not to wear cotton shorts and a raggedy white T-shirt when going out in DC. Alas, in my early state of intoxication I failed to notice this first clue.

As we piled into the car, something else unusual happened. Chip, sitting alone in the back seat, eagerly began taking shots vodka from a water bottle. This was particularly unusual because 1) Chip is allergic to alcohol, causing ghastly red blotches to appear all over his face and 2) We rarely see Chip drinking. Now, it must be noted that there were two water bottles in the car. The one full with vodka, and one with normal water. As I turned around 2 minutes later, the water bottle in his hand was empty. "Oh my Gosh!" I screamed, "Are you insane?!", "Chip are you okay?". Apparently he had just chugged an entire bottle of vodka and the sight on his face was nothing short of appalling. Let's just say his eyes looked like this:

I honestly feared for my friend's life at that point. My mind began spinning with wild thoughts of a planned suicide. Perhaps Chip had been struggling at Med school and no one knew his suffering? Perhaps he had planned all along to end it on one final night with his buddies. For the rest of the trip to DC, I tried hopelessly to get his attention, as he sank quickly into an unresponsive state of unconsciousness.

Somehow, someway, we managed to park and walk to the bar where a friend was having a birthday party. As we approached the bouncer, the huge black man burst out laughing. "Oh shit! Come over here Billy you gotta see this! I ain't never seen nothin like this in all my time workin here. This dude looks straight out the gym!" The next 30 minutes were perhaps the most embarassing of all my nights in DC. We pleaded with the bouncers to let Chip in, though he was dressed like a homeless man, but the bouncers kept laughing and said "Yall ain't givin' us NOTHIN' to work with man!" Eventually they said they'd let us in if we found him a dress shirt, so we went into the club, stripped a shirt off of a friend, and came back out. When Chip put it on, the bouncers shockingly said "Naw the owner said we still can't let you in".

For the rest of that night, Chip spent his time reading newspapers at the nearby Kinkos.

Fast forward about 3 hours, and I'm being dropped off at home, drunk and tired as balls. As I got out the car I snatched the remaining water bottle hoping it would sober me up by morning. I wash up, and right as I'm about to crawl into bed, I take a huge swig from the bottle, and then it hit me...

My mouth was full of about 3 shots of vodka, and I was in mid-swallow.

The next 5 minutes go by in slow motion. It was like the end of that movie, the Usual Suspects, when the dude has a flashback where he realizes everything that just happened was a fake. The water bottle, the laughing faces, the scene in the car all comes flashing back. While we weren't looking, Chip had swapped the water bottles and tricked us into thinking he chugged the vodka! I regained my senses just as my throat caught fire. Bolting to the bathroom, I release the vodka splashing all over my sink. Looking in the mirror, I repeat to myself one phrase...

"Well played, Chip......well played"

Hulko Maniac

2009-03-11T13:54:00.000-07:00

From now on, Darko shall be known as Hulko...

Man vs. Wild - How in shape are you?

2009-03-09T13:57:00.001-07:00

One of the vaguest concepts in today's society is the idea of "being in shape". Countless Americans spend hours in the gym 'getting in shape', but how do you know if you really are in shape? What standards do we have to measure ourselves against? Statistical figures like BMI and body fat % hardly represent how one would truly perform in real life situations. Therefore, I recommend that we go back to the earliest roots of why people got in shape in the first place:
for survival.

Here's my suggested baseline for measuring your level of fitness against the meanest that mother nature has to offer:

If you could survive an attack against a:

LION - (responsible for 800 deaths/year worldwide) - You have achieved the status of Man-beast. When the king of the jungle's got nothin' on you, I think it's safe to say you've earned a few midnight snacks and some days off from the gym. You may be a hideous genetic freak of nature, but hey, you'll probably be the last man left surviving on earth when the aliens invade.

BEAR - (5-10 deaths annually in U.S.) - Warning: do not Google "Bear attack". The results are disgusting. Photos of the damage alone is enough to warrant anyone able to survive an attack without a scratch as Fearless Warrior. Mother nature does not scare you; in fact, you scare mother nature.

CROCODILE - (cause 600-800 deaths/year worldwide) - You have achieved the status of Jungle Boy. Wrestling a crocodile requires a total lack of fear, intense focus, and brute strength. You may have the physical tools and courage, but lack the true experience of a survivor.

WILD BOAR - Alright it's time to get a little more realistic. I think anyone who can take on a Wild Boar is pretty hot to trot. You've gotta have speed to outrun it, agility to dodge the tusks, and strength to wrestle it to the ground. You are a Natural Badass. I think most athletic men fall into this category.

WILD DOG - Here's where we are gettin to the cut-off line. I think anyone below this point needs to step it up ASAP. If you're susceptible to being run down and mauled by a wild dog, then you shouldn't leave the house at night. Step one would be to work on those legs so you could give a good kick in the balls. It works in many situations, trust me.

RODENTS - rats, squirrels, mice, you name it. If 2 rats could basically render you helpless, you are HURT-ING. enough said.

I might have to become a Bills fan

2009-03-08T20:25:00.000-07:00

Wow, Terrell Owens is playing for the city I was born in. Who would have thought in a million years this would ever happen. This is a city that former Bills running back complained "lacked any nightlife beyond the neighborhood Applebees". I think it will only be about 2 games into the season before T.O. gets bored out of his mind and starts wrecking havoc some way or another. Sigh...will my chaotic fantasy football life ever be untied from the man we call T.O.?

"GETCHA POPCORN READY" -T.O.

SNOW!!

2009-03-03T15:45:00.000-08:00

Edit:
I've decided that I'm only going to start posting original content from now on. Borrowing stuff from other sites is lame.

I went sledding today after that mild snowstorm brought us some nice powder.
We've got a a great steep hill behind the nearby Frost middle school that makes for some nice sledding and even some decent beginner snowboarding. Unfortunately, my friend Max Ray did not fair too well on his first attempt at riding a jump:

Spotlight - "From Birdmen to Autistic Savants"

2009-03-01T15:21:00.000-08:00

("Spotlight" posts are my attempt to introduce you to intriguing people, events, or things around the world that you'd probably otherwise never have heard of. Enjoy!)

Dan Osman - wikipedia

I stumbled across the late great Dan Osman while watching this video of beautiful female rock climber Natalija Gros posted on Digg. Dan was an Asian American climber who played a large role in popularizing free-solo rockclimbing (climbing without any gear). He was known for living a bohemian lifestyle , rarely working, and living in a tree house for months at a time. He died in 1998 at age 35 while performing a controlled free-fall jump at Yosemite National Park when his rope failed. You can watch the story of his last jump here, but the video that motivated me to post his story on my blog is this amazing footage of him speed-climbing Lover's Leap in California. Simply mind-blowing:

Wingsuit Flying - wikipedia

Wingsuit flying was started in the 1930's by "birdmen" like Leo Valentin, who created wings from canvas, steel and wood, and were able to glide in the air for miles. Apparently 72 of the 75 original birdmen died while testing suits. While at the Circuit City in Chinatown DC I saw a special on tv about modern birdmen who now use a safe and reliable wingsuit designed in Europe in 1998 that have made Wingsuit Flying a popular new extreme sport. Dare devil Swiss Wingsuit flyer Ueli Geoenaghatz raced a passenger plane from mainland Ireland to the Aran Islands. The 17.6 km journey which normally takes the Aer Arran passenger plane 7 mins travelling at an average sped of 130mph was beaten by Ueli in a wingsuit as he reached speeds of over 200mph. Here's part of the special I saw:

Autistic Savants - wikipedia

Those suffering from some sort of autism who also possess very rare forms of brilliance or mental abilities. I came across this term when I saw the movie Rain Man on tv tonight, starring Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman. Daniel Tammet is one of these modern autistic savants. In his mind, he says, each integer up to 10,000 has its own unique shape, colour, texture and feel. He has described his visual image of 289 as particularly ugly, 333 as particularly attractive, and pi as beautiful. 6 apparently has no distinct image.Tammet described 25 as energetic and the "kind of number you would invite to a party"... He holds the Eurpean record for reciting pi down to 22,514 and possess a unique ability to learn new languages, which he proved by learning Icelandic in one week. He's also creating a new language called Manti, based on Estonian and Finnish.

The Number 2

2009-02-27T13:32:00.000-08:00

- How many more pounds until I reach my life long goal of 1**
- How many more inches on my vertical until I can grab the rim
- How many drinks I'm going to limit myself to each time I go out
- What I forgot to drop in the toilet this morning
- How many girls I've loved in my life
- How many kids I want to have
- How many minutes I spent on work this Friday
- How old DC 101's Doo Doo Time Spectacular (DDTS) turns today!! For those of you who don't know, DDTS happens every weekday at 5:30 on DC101 FM, where Roche (best radio DJ ever), screams "DOO DOO TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME SPECTAC-ULARRRR!!!" and plays a rock song you used to hear all the time on the radio back in the day but, for some unknown reason, you rarely hear anymore.
If you scroll down and look on the left side you'll see the Doo Doochive, arguably some of the greatest old songs ever. I'd like to thank the Doo for introducing me to this old Rage Against the Machine tune this week. This song is SICK. Driving home listening to this was off the freakin hook. Whenever I'm lacking energy or motivation, I just blast this off my ipod and I'm set to go. Happy Birthday Doo!!

Pepper Spray, for men

2009-02-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

I forgot to add this to the earlier list, but as I was watching the bear video, one thing led to another and I ended up reading stories about bears, then I found out there was such thing as Bear Mace:

Probably would have been useful for this woman:

11 Random Things I Learned on a Non-productive workday

2009-02-25T11:17:00.000-08:00

Ever had one of those ~~weeks~~ days when you just don't feel like working? I find these days best for acquiring mounds of useless but interesting knowledge.

1. The global map of the planet Mars is 250x more accurate than the global map of our own ocean floor. Nonetheless, I find Google Earth, as well as the deep blue sea, extremely fascinating. Yet more proof that Google is unstoppable.

2. "Pimping" my office with an ergonomic chair that I can sit comfortably sideways in will cost me upwards of $300 dollars. Although, the wall of wood is definitely something I would consider for my house.

3. Why people die so quickly in icy waters: "Usually when nerves on the surface of the skin sense a sudden and massive drop in temperature, they trigger uncontrollable and involuntary hyperventilation. Swallow water during this stage and you can quickly drown. The blood vessels to extremities also narrow to reduce the flow of blood - and heat - away from vital organs. The sudden rise in blood pressure can trigger a heart attack." Your body temperature will quickly drop below 35 degrees Celsuis - hypothermia, the point beyond which the body cannot warm up again without help. Somehow, real-life icemen are invulnerable to such weaknesses.

4. Mole rats can live up to 30 years longer than any other rodent, and are thought to hold the secret to long life.

5. There are points between the earth and the sun where gravity is canceled out, known as Lagrangian points, or gravity holes. Any matter that wanders into these spots is stuck there forever, resulting in a buildup of material that could eventually reach planetary size, get pushed out by gravitational nudges, and collide with earth.

6. Bears know how to mimic human actions to beg for food. I wish my dog was this cool.

7. When it comes to choosing a new monitor, there are 3 types of LCD monitors. Ordered from most expensive to least expensive: IPS (In-plane-switching), VA (Vertical alignment), TN (Twisted Nematic). In short, TN is crap, VA takes the gold, IPS is for hardcores.

8. There are ALOT of FAIL pictures out there, and for some reason they don't get old.

9. Shia LaBeouf totally looks like a young Albert Einstein.

10. I'm about to get married. Megan Fox is single.

11. One sugar cube of Neutron Star material would weigh 100 million tons, making Neutron Stars the densest thing known in the universe.

Spotlight - "Life without limbs"

2009-02-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

So, last night was not the typical evening encounter with my dad. "Hey Jon come watch this guy with no arms or no legs on tv talking about God". So, I figured hmm that's a little out of the ordinary small-talk, so I went and checked it out...

Meet Nick Vujicic, born in Melbourne, Australia, with the extremely rare Tetra-Amelia Syndrome (the failure of any arms or legs developing before birth) having only 2 functional toes which protrude from his left thigh. Only a few incidents have been reported worldwide, and most are born dead or die shortly after birth. Nick, however, survived, and as you can guess endured an incredibly harsh childhood. On the tv special being shown on the chinese network I get at my house, he was talking about how he even tried to drown himself in a tub when he was 8 years old, because he felt like his life did not serve a purpose. Amazingly, during his teenage years he began realizing that people drew hope from watching his ability to overcome his struggles, and eventually started his non-profit organization Life Without Limbs. He later began his travels as a motivational speaker after graduating from college at 21 with a double major in Accounting and Financial Planning.

Now, how incredible is it to see a man, born with arguably the greatest of disabilities, speaking about purpose and hope? As I look around me, I see so much complaining and ungratefulness that it honestly makes me ill. It is as if people in today's society cannot be satisfied with the gift of life. If one area of our lives does not meet our high expectations (job, health, school, money, vacations, relationships, etc) we feel like we have the right to be upset or unsatisfied.

A man with NO arms and NO legs was able to discover his purpose in life and has made a bigger impact on the world in 8 years than you and I have done in our entire lives!

This man has to struggle to turn on a friggin' light switch!
We, in our incredibly gifted and healthy state, choose to dismiss our gifts and live selfish and mundane lives seeking educational and career success as society defines it. We all need to stop living in a box and realize that the gift of life in itself is good enough. We have to start deciding how we will choose to use that incredible gift, regardless of our petty obstacles.

How I learned the hard way, over and over

2009-02-18T14:52:00.000-08:00

This clip makes me lol really hard now, but when I was actually going through this stuff it was pretty darn painful.

Guys and girls, please take a lesson from this and DO NOT date until you are absolutely ready, until you have established your identity, until you are emotionally and financially stable, and until you are rock solid in who you are. Or else you'll be stuck in an endless cycle just like in the video. I've seen a bunch of guys and girls proclaim that they are ready to stay single and grow on their own, but as soon as a half-decent guy/girl comes along, they're ready to fall back into it at the drop of a hat. Where is the self-discipline? Are we so lonely and desperate?? Just DON'T DO IT, or a few weeks into the relationship you'll be wondering where and how it all went wrong again...
It's Guaransheed

Greatest Memories - "Vinsanity at the 2000 Dunk Contest"

2009-02-17T11:45:00.000-08:00

As you all know, the NBA All-star festivities took place this past Valentines weekend, bringing to memory one of the most exciting 30 minutes of my life: watching Vince Carter during the 2000 Dunk Contest. It was probably one in about 3 times my whole life when I've been completely frozen in awe, my mouth hanging open and my eyes all bulging. And you guys know I'm not one to easily show my emotions. I was one hell of a freaked out 15-year-old. You bet your ass I had a VHS tape in my ghetto tape recorder capturing every second, and I treasured that tape like it was gold. Watch the documentary below to understand why I will forever remember Vince Carter to be one of the greatest athletes/entertainers to ever live.

That is, of course, until Superman appeared on the scene in 2008...

Thank you Dwight Howard for making the dunk contest relevant again, and for reminding us what it's supposed to be about: showmanship, entertainment, and just plain old having fun. Bringing out the 12 foot hoop and the phone booth? I tip my hat to you sir, and thank God you've inspired Lebron to join the 2010 Dunk Contest. I can't wait to see him pull out the "3 lebrons" costumes and dunk while dressed up like an old man.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T14:12:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I love holidays, and especially this one. A lot of people hate it because they think it's about being single or being in a relationship, but it's really not. It's about spreadin' the love and sharing the joy, and I'm all about that. So, this Valentine's Day I'm throwing my first ever dinner party/game show mixer and hopefully all goes well. I'll put up some photos later if possible. Wish we luck!

EDIT:
4 words: Best Valentines Day EVER. Thank you to everyone who joined me in this joyous occasion and helped make this first annual event such a success! It is amazing how my life has so quickly gone from overwhelming sadness to overwhelming joy. I honestly have too much happiness in my life, and it feels so gratifying to be able to share it with the loved ones in my life.

Congratulations to team Ju-Wan on their awesome victory!!

1st place: Team Ju-wan

2nd place: Team Ell-nor
3rd place: Team Shel-nie
4th place: Team DAnna

Is it a poop?

2009-02-12T12:19:00.000-08:00

So i was at work fiddling around with a Christmas gift I'd gotten from my coworkers/big sisters, this little toy called "20 Questions". You have to think of something, and the toy will ask you 20 "yes/no" questions for you to respond to, and then it will guess what you are thinking of. Now, let me tell you, if you've never played it, go to Barnes or something and check it out. It will blow your freakin' mind. I'm sitting there thinking of the most obscure things, and it keeps on guessing them right on the dot!

(whoa..ok)

(wtf, how'd it know!?)

(how is that even possible? Love is intangible!!)

So I take it even one step further. I was kind of in a bitter mood that day so I'm thinkin, there's no way this toy has the word "Bitch" stored in its memory. So i go ahead and answer the 20 questions, like "Does it bring joy to people?", "No", etc etc...and lo and behold...

"Is it a woman?"

At that point, I was just sitting there in my office staring at the words on the screen for like 10 minutes. I mean, there is just no way this little thing equates Bitch to = woman.
Either the maker of the toy was as bitter at women as I was that day, or there was a glitch in the system. And try as I might, I can't get it to duplicate the answer I got that day. I'm starting to feel like that thing sensed my emotions that day or something...creepy man..

5 Tips for Guys on Valentine's Day (and beyond)

2009-02-10T14:58:00.001-08:00

1. Plan ahead - women are all about planning. Everything's gotta be set in stone like 2 decades in advance, reservations and all set down to the very millisecond. If you can't give her the exact time she'll be holding those roses to her nose, then you will be considered a failure my friend. No, but seriously, planning is a must. Be confident; certain, yet mysterious. For events like this, you cannot yield a hint of uncertainty.

2. Dress Up - If a girl tells you she hates dressing up, then she's lying (or just speaking in what's known as the mysterious female language). Girls love dressing up for special occasions. It's the only reason they have that dress (or 10 dresses) in their closet; for that once in a blue moon occasion where they can bust it out and flaunt it to the world. So fellas, tell her the dress code is banquet style, and you better damn well look good too you slobs!

3. Flowers & Chocolates - They've become a staple of Valentine's Day for a reason; girls love both. If you have the creativity to go above and beyond something so simple, then big props to you 'cause you're one step ahead of the pack.

4. Take the lead - because the girl sure isn't going to. And if she does, you might as well trade your suit for her dress, because now she's wearing the pants, and you should expect to get dumped in approximately 3 weeks (or sooner). Don't be afraid to start the dancing even if you look like a fool, 'cause you know what? Girls love laughing at us. It's true.

5. Fat - eliminate the word "fat" from your vocabulary. If girls were robots, this would be one of the secret words that would trigger "kill mode". No matter who you are referring to, or what you are talking about, just remember, there is no such thing as fat, no one is fat or can ever get fat, and she is for certain not fat. Don't ever refer to anyone as fat, because it will make you look judgmental in her eyes, and make her feel self-conscious around you. If a girl ever jokingly says she is fat, it's because she wants someone to say "no you're not". SO, just erase it from your mind(or any other synonym such as out of shape, chubby, big mama's house, badonkadonk, huge, behemoth, whale, etc..)

Have a pleasant and safe Valentine's Day fellas! (Hopefully no Chris Brown-Rihanna repeats)

I Saved My Dog's Life Today

2009-02-08T20:20:00.001-08:00

Some of you probably know that I try to avoid chocolate at all costs. Why? Let's just say that a traumatizing battle with acne in high school led me to become extremely suspicious of many possible causes, which included chocolate. Some call me stupid, but today my disdain for chocolate saved my dog's life. If I had bought the normal chocolate Oreos instead of the (superior) Vanilla oreos, my dog very well might have died. For those of you who don't know, apparently dogs can die from eating chocolate. As you can see in the picture, that is one sick (and guilty) looking dog; she demolished about 2 dozen vanilla Oreos. So, here's to you Kayli. May you enjoy many more thrilling days of sleeping on the couch and sniffing your crotch area.

By the way, anyone who hasn't been able to attend the recent Mclean sermons on dating should definitely listen to them online. I consider it required listening for all young men and women, trust me:

http://www.frontlinedc.com/pages/page.asp?page_id=712

Top 5 Valentine's Gifts (not) to Give a Guy

2009-02-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

First off, I want to thank those of you who have told me you enjoy reading my blog. A bit of encouragement goes a long way, and I'm really thankful.

Looks like it's that time of year again. Valentine's day is either incredibly exciting or just another reminder of what's missing in your life. I say Valentine's day can be tons of fun whether you're single or taken, and I've got some big plans up my sleeve for you single folks. But, that's a story for next week...Here are some gift tips (not to be taken too seriously).

Gifts for Guys:

1. Cards - Once they are read, cards serve one purpose. Wait, no they don't, they serve zero purpose. After guys read a card that you ladies have crafted such thoughtful sentences into (hopefully), it goes stashed away, never to be seen again. You know it as our "box of memories", but we know better. It's just a safe place to hide embarrassing mush, b/c if any of this were released to our male companions, Worlds would collide, complete chaos would ensue, and the earth would end as we know it (see Seinfeld ep.118).

2. Flowers - OoOoO smells so preetty! MAN WHAT are you thinking!??

3. Dress shirts - or any other type of clothing for that matter. We're not dress-up dolls. The first and last female who will ever dress us was our mom. Besides, we wouldn't go around buying tank tops for you and making you wear them, would we? (Note: the only exception to this is if your man's style is absolutely hUrt-ting. (ie: the Sandman - once tried to get into a club with cotton booty shorts and a stretched out white t-shirt. The bouncer called over all his friends to check it out because 'in all his 5 years on the job he ain't never seen nuthin like that'. "Son, you straight out the gym! You ain't givin me nuthin to work with!"))

4. Gift Cards - You gotta admit, gift cards are WEAK, man, weak. Who does that?

5. Nothing - It hurts quite a bit when giving a girl a gift, and then getting absolutely nothing in return. I mean, at least hook us up with some Ramen noodles or some Pootang Pie (kidding). I think a lump of coal might even suffice, given the proper explanation. It's not that we give things just for the purpose of receiving something in return. It's a simple expression of how much you actually care about us. It's so easy even a caveman could do it. (play cheesy elevator music)

Next up: Gifts (not) to give Girls

I don't want to be an Ant...you know?

2009-02-02T13:23:00.000-08:00

Anyone who's known me longer than a week knows that I struggle terribly with my memory. The great thing about this is that when I'm actually able to recall things at crucial moments, it makes that moment that much more special. In fact, it's almost mind-bottling.

Well, one night after downing half a bottle of The Prodigal Son (which is now one of my favorite bargain red wines), I began bumbling through my friend's DVD collection, spouting quick nonsensical reviews of each movie, "seen this, seen that, seen this..." blah blah blah. And that's when I came across Waking Life. Now, she's thinking, "there's no way he has the intellect to appreciate such a deeply analytical indie film". Well paarrrdon mua madam, it just so happens that was one of the most memorable films I'd ever seen. And in my drunken half-conscious state, I somehow rambled off a slurred version of the quote below:

(A man and woman run into each other on the street)
"Excuse me"
(As they are about to continue their separate ways...)
"Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant. You know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continously on ant autopilot, with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient, polite manner. "Here's your change." "Paper or plastic?' "Credit or debit?" "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be ant, you know? "

And here's one more great quote from the movie:

Hey, are you a dreamer? I haven't seen too many around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore. It's not dead it's just that it's been forgotten, removed from our language. Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists. The dreamer is banished to obscurity. Well, I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too. By dreaming, every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds. Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored, this is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive. And things are just starting...

“There’s only one instant, and it’s right now, and it’s eternity.”

Anyways, most of this probably means nothing to you guys, but hopefully one soul out there gets me. For the most part it's a dead boring movie, but somehow it's still great.

Life lessons - "Effective Dating - Wading through the bullsh*t"

2009-01-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

Alright fellas, it's my long awaited first "serious" blog post. I've got about half a bottle of Cabernet in me tonight so let's get this show on the road. I've seen so many dysfunctional couples and broken hearts in my life, including my own, that I feel it would be a crime not to share my life lessons to help out our poor, poor Asian brethren (Yes, YOU, you clueless idiot! kidding).

Have you ever woken up about a month or so into the relationship thinking, "who the hell is this and what happened to the girl/guy I thought I was dating?". It happens all the time. You jump into a relationship with this "amazing" person only to find out that once they get comfortable with you, they turn out to be a completely different person. Then comes the fighting, long nights on the phone, drinking, and basically a painfully drawn out dysfunctional relationship ending with a bad breakup. WHY??? I'll tell you why. It's because the way we date is completely FLAWED!

Let's admit it, when we first meet someone that we have even the slightest bit of interest in, we put on our best face and try our best to be charming, cute, cool, you name it. We're not going to show them our true nature, our flaws, our bad sides, that would be just plain stupid. The fact is, the person we first see is only a shell of who they really are. Heard of the "honeymoon phase"? The phase when everything is "oh so perfect". Well that's because the two people are both in love with the perfect "shells" that they've shown each other. They're not in love with each other. In fact, they don't even know who the other person is. And by the time they find out, it's too late, and they try and try to make it work, endlessly chasing to find that person that they first fell in love with. Problem is, that person never existed. Now, here's the question at hand. How do we prevent this? Here are my suggestions:

1. Get past the bullshit - Stop chit chatting about stupid bullcrap like your schoolwork, your job, your family, your boring interests. That's not what will ultimately determine if you two are compatible. Try this: when on a date, find something that you both passionately disagree about. Yea, it might be a sensitive topic, but the more sensitive the better. Then debate, argue, get upset, and analyze how both of you deal with it, how you handle your emotions, and how you compromise with each other. This is one of the most important aspects of a relationship; being able to resolve disputes, control your emotions under duress, and compromise. It is totally inevitable that two people will fight during their relationship. You cannot avoid it. Two people could have completely different interests, come from two sides of the world, but if they can handle disagreement effectively, they will ultimately get along great.

2. Don't date directly, date indirectly - Confusing? Here's what I mean. Don't place too much importance on how the person treats you directly. Obviously they're going to treat you great at first because they want you to like them. The key here is to observe how they treat other people, especially people they are comfortable with. Why? Because eventually you're going to be one of those people. If you see them yelling at or neglecting their friends, eventually you're going to be on the other end of that mistreatment. Ignore the charming bullshit that they give you up front, because all that will disapear in a matter of weeks.

3. Establish a boundary - This is one of the most common mistakes I see people (and myself) make over and over. They get too close, too quick. There is a something I refer to as the "infamous boundary'. Once it's been broken, you can never repair it. People have a tendancy to jump into things in the early stages of a relationship, spending every waking moment with each other, sleeping over, basically a 24/7 date. That, my friends, is NOT dating. That's called marriage. And you are for damn sure not ready for that. Breaking the boundary does two things:
It kills the fire in the relationship, and
It suffocates the hell out each other.
Remember that tingly excitement you felt in the beginning? How you couldn't wait to see the other person; how everything was so fun and exciting? Well once you get to see them every freakin day, that dies out pretty quick. Keep a boundary, have your own life outside of the relationship, keep it special, and establish formal dates and times to be with each other. And by all means, DO NOT sleep over.

Well fellas, that's all I got for you for now. I hope some of it helps, but from what I've seen, most people have to learn for themselves the hard way. Oh yea:
Guys: Your biggest problem is apathy. After awhile, you stop caring. It becomes "whatever". And this leads to..
Girls: Anger. That's your problem. Once you get comfortable with your man, you feel like it's okay to bitch the shit out of him just like you bitch at your girlfriends. Well guess what. When a man bitches at another man, shits about to go down and someones ass is getting beat. But see, we cant beat your ass. So we act like passive agressive little sissies and stop caring.

So..guys and girls, be aware of this and recognize when that shit starts happening, cause when it does, its about to get reaaaaal dysfuntional up in that joint.

Happy hunting!!

Let's face it, we're all dying

2009-01-25T19:31:00.001-08:00

Still stalling from posting a serious blog topic...

So, lately it seems every is oh so "busy" all the time, whether with school, work, or just plain nonsense. People stress their days away, worrying about tomorrow, worrying about the end of their semesters, worrying about their days after college, and about the future in general. I just feel that many people are investing so much of their present time on the near or distant future, that they can't slow down and just enjoy the present. They can't dwell in the happiness that at this very moment they have the gift of life, and that should be more than enough. Stop stressing about the future, because the future is not even guaranteed. The only thing that's guaranteed is now. What is the point of wasting away the gift of 'now' to stress over a future that is not even guaranteed? I feel like everyone should just slow down, and take time to enjoy each day in itself. I get a sense that people are satisfied wasting away their days either beintg lazy or slaving away for their futures. Why is it that people only create "bucket lists" when they are told they have a terminal illness? I think a "bucket list" is something we should all aim to accomplish on a daily basis. As my old youth pastor once said, each day we are one step closer to death, which basically means we are all dying. So, like I always say, live it up. Get up off all your lazy asses, and get out and do something before it's too late. I'm gonna try to mark off one item on my bucket list everyday and see how it goes, which me luck fellas...

Here's a few pics from my latest vacation for those of you without facebook, 4-day cruise to the bahamas:

Debate Corner - "I've got El Nino in my pants!"

2009-01-18T08:19:00.002-08:00

Alright, so I still feel like I'm not ready to post a blog about a serious topic yet, so I'll entertain you guys with a little debate. Me and my old high school pals like to have "worse case scenario" debates, which usually end up with me disagreeing with everyone else. So, here's a little conundrum if you will:

Let's say you're backpacking through a foreign country with your girlfriend, and you're going to be out traveling all day, when suddenly you spontaneously lose control of your bladder and completely soak your pants in pee. Now, I'm not talking about your grandmother's little accident. I'm talking El Nino in your pants, I'm talking about a 90% saturation level, and that sh*t REEKS something foul. Now, don't ask why you would suddenly just piss your pants, just imagine it. Now, the only spare clothing you have is your girlfriend's red prom dress which she is for some reason carrying with her in her backpack. So, here's the ultimate question:

Will you (Vote in the poll):
A) Choose to walk around for the rest of the day in your foul piss stained pants or
B) Strut your stuff in your girlfriend's bright red prom dress.

Keep in mind there are no clothing stores around you because you're at some tourist attraction in the middle of nowhere, and tons of people will be seeing you, and taking pictures of course. Basically, it's either A or B. And girls, try to imagine you are a dude. I of course, went with the dress, while all my other pals chose the "pee-soaked pants". What would you do?

Tidbits - "Don't kiss her she has cooties!"

2009-01-16T11:29:00.000-08:00

As many of you probably know, I live with a doctor. He often likes to randomly quote ridiculous medical statistics and bits of knowledge, most of which I suspect to be completely fabricated in attempts to scare his children into being good little boys and girls. The many beliefs I have acquired during my time in the household include: a) Almost all my medical illnesses are either caused by drinking, smoking, or staying up too late, and b) Almost all medical illnesses can be cured by drinking lots of water and eating oranges.

Anyways, onto the topic at hand. Do you guys remember the times when we were young and had just learned about stuff like STD's and other diseases? We were so paranoid about "catching" stuff from other people by kissing and what not. Well, last night one of my family's dinner conversations went like this:

Daniel (my 13 yr old brother): "Did you know you can get AIDS by kissing someone"

Me (in my own head): "wtf..."

My Dad: "Oh really, how so?"

Daniel: "If they have a cut in their mouth"

Me (again in my own head): "wtf..."

My Dad: "Even if I directly injected your arm with a drop of pure HIV virus, the chances of you getting HIV is about 4 in 1,000"

Me (in my own head): "sweeeet" [then walk to room having survived another family dinner, and yet again gained a bit of medical knowledge that I still have no idea to be true or not]

Anyways, so yea I thought that'd be interesting to share with the bunch of friends I have in Med school. Considering the AIDS crisis going on in Africa, if those facts were actually true, something must be going seriously wrong over there...any thoughts?

2009-01-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

I think it's about damn time we all stopped bitching about our petty lives, don't you?