2012

So I spent a few hours watching all these crazy 2012 "end of the world" videos, which led to a variety of other conspiracy theories which I will not bore you with here. But, feel free to google 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock, or other stuff like fluoride and aspartame conspiracy. All I want to say to those people who reject "end of the world" theories is, believing in these things is a Win-Win situation. Living like you will die in 3 years will no doubt force you into living a more fruitful, productive, and exciting life. And you know what? If 2012 comes around and we are all still alive, we'll have an awesome reason to have an epic celebration. There it is. A Win-Win situation. So fellas, it's time to tell ourselves that it's all gonna be over in 2012. I'll either see you in heaven, or at the Armageddon party.

Urban Dictionary - part1

It has come to my attention that common slang among guys has evolved to the point where girls can't understand what the heck we're saying. SO, I'm gonna take this time on a very busy Friday morning (*cough*) to shed some light for you ladies on some common Man-speak that's being thrown around these days:

Hurting (hAr-tING) - used to describe something that is ridiculously below standard. Was first used by the Sports Junkies radio talk show on DC 101. The worse that something is, the longer the first half of the word is drawn out (ex. "Huuur-ting")

"Man that chick is HURRR-TING"
"Get some new shoes man, those joints are Hur-ting"

Nub - Describes someone who just flat out sucks at something. One who lacks knowledge, experience, skill, or just fails at life in general.
(synonyms: nubcake, newb, n00b, noob, newbie, nubmuffin)

"Wow what a nub-cake"

A lil' bit money - something that is extremely awesome. The more "money" that something is, the more drawn out the word "money" is, and the more emphasis placed on the "m" (ex. " lil bit MMooooooney"). Not to be confused with "a little bit of money". That is used to describe being broke.

"Yo this steak is a lil' bit moooooooooh-ney!"

G.G. (gee-gee)- literally stands for "good game", which is typically said after a round of gaming. However, it is used in common language to mean "game over", or "you're finished buddy", or "you have no chance".

guy1 - "Yo man i don't think I can hang out tonight, my g/f is callin' me"
guy 2 - "oh man... gg"

PWNed (PO-wned) - Used to describe getting utterly dominated or made a fool of. Originates from the word "owned". Typically said after laying a monster insult or embarrassing someone.

"Yea, that's what your sister said last night. PWNed."

Brain Fart - Random Thoughts of the Week

1. Underrated Hotties - To me, listening to a women's voice is kind of like tasting a fine wine. When drinking wine, there's all sorts of subtleties and different flavors you can take from just a small taste. When you listen carefully to the tone of a woman's voice, you get all kinds of tidbits like hints to their personality, intelligence, their sense of humor; tons of things. That's why this week's underrated hottie is Iranian actress Golshifte Farahani, the actress from Body of Lies. She's just got that voice that's so calm, smart, and caring. Not the typical singer's voice, but that's why she's underrated.

2. Songs in my head - Ever get those same songs that pop into your head whenever you feel a certain emotion? Here are some weird songs that I always start whistling or humming when these specific feelings happen:

When I feel happy - "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands"
While rushing to get somewhere - "Chariots of Fire theme song"
When I hear some really good news - "Indian Jones theme song"

I have no explanation for this other than these songs must have been burned into my memory at a young age...so wierd.

3. Why I Cliff Dive - Most people think thrill seekers are just stupid psychos that do crazy things. I like to consider myself an intelligent thrill seeker. When I cliff dive, I feel emotions and sensations that very few people ever feel. It's like doing the impossible. It's like hovering in that instant before death, and living to tell the tale. Standing on the edge of that cliff, nothing else matters. All those petty concerns and problems that take up brain-space just disappear. Being on the brink of death actually forces you to put your entire life and all your priorities in perspective within a matter of seconds. In that moment, you are in another dimension altogether. You become Man in its most raw form; un-polluted by modern society; the form that Man was originally created to be. There are no societal concerns. There is no money. There is no drama. There is only good, bad, life, death, and survival. It's like rebooting your brain to the days of Adam and Eve. There are not many greater feelings on this planet. It is a shame the majority of people do not get to experience this feeling.

This is freakin crazy

And this is even more awesome:

http://www.urlesque.com/2009/04/07/the-100-most-iconic-internet-videos/

I shall not be bored at work for the next 3 days.

Chocolate Skittles the Worst Candy Ever Made?

So about 4 months ago I tried Chocolate Skittles. After eating like 3 of them I felt like puking and had to throw out the bag. It was basically the equivalent of putting different shades of little brown poop bits in your mouth. Today I just saw that Cracked.com released a lengthy and bitter tirade against the new skittles...I share their pain. 4 months later I'm still shuddering just thinking about having them in my mouth.

And for the record, DON'T try them, they are THAT BAD.

Spotlight - "From Birdmen to Autistic Savants"

("Spotlight" posts are my attempt to introduce you to intriguing people, events, or things around the world that you'd probably otherwise never have heard of. Enjoy!)


Dan Osman - wikipedia

I stumbled across the late great Dan Osman while watching this video of beautiful female rock climber Natalija Gros posted on Digg. Dan was an Asian American climber who played a large role in popularizing free-solo rockclimbing (climbing without any gear). He was known for living a bohemian lifestyle , rarely working, and living in a tree house for months at a time. He died in 1998 at age 35 while performing a controlled free-fall jump at Yosemite National Park when his rope failed. You can watch the story of his last jump here, but the video that motivated me to post his story on my blog is this amazing footage of him speed-climbing Lover's Leap in California. Simply mind-blowing:





Wingsuit Flying - wikipedia

Wingsuit flying was started in the 1930's by "birdmen" like Leo Valentin, who created wings from canvas, steel and wood, and were able to glide in the air for miles. Apparently 72 of the 75 original birdmen died while testing suits. While at the Circuit City in Chinatown DC I saw a special on tv about modern birdmen who now use a safe and reliable wingsuit designed in Europe in 1998 that have made Wingsuit Flying a popular new extreme sport. Dare devil Swiss Wingsuit flyer Ueli Geoenaghatz raced a passenger plane from mainland Ireland to the Aran Islands. The 17.6 km journey which normally takes the Aer Arran passenger plane 7 mins travelling at an average sped of 130mph was beaten by Ueli in a wingsuit as he reached speeds of over 200mph. Here's part of the special I saw:




Autistic Savants - wikipedia

Those suffering from some sort of autism who also possess very rare forms of brilliance or mental abilities. I came across this term when I saw the movie Rain Man on tv tonight, starring Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman. Daniel Tammet is one of these modern autistic savants. In his mind, he says, each integer up to 10,000 has its own unique shape, colour, texture and feel. He has described his visual image of 289 as particularly ugly, 333 as particularly attractive, and pi as beautiful. 6 apparently has no distinct image. Tammet described 25 as energetic and the "kind of number you would invite to a party"... He holds the Eurpean record for reciting pi down to 22,514 and possess a unique ability to learn new languages, which he proved by learning Icelandic in one week. He's also creating a new language called Manti, based on Estonian and Finnish.

11 Random Things I Learned on a Non-productive workday

Ever had one of those weeks days when you just don't feel like working? I find these days best for acquiring mounds of useless but interesting knowledge.

1. The global map of the planet Mars is 250x more accurate than the global map of our own ocean floor. Nonetheless, I find Google Earth, as well as the deep blue sea, extremely fascinating. Yet more proof that Google is unstoppable.

2. "Pimping" my office with an ergonomic chair that I can sit comfortably sideways in will cost me upwards of $300 dollars. Although, the wall of wood is definitely something I would consider for my house.

3. Why people die so quickly in icy waters: "Usually when nerves on the surface of the skin sense a sudden and massive drop in temperature, they trigger uncontrollable and involuntary hyperventilation. Swallow water during this stage and you can quickly drown. The blood vessels to extremities also narrow to reduce the flow of blood - and heat - away from vital organs. The sudden rise in blood pressure can trigger a heart attack." Your body temperature will quickly drop below 35 degrees Celsuis - hypothermia, the point beyond which the body cannot warm up again without help. Somehow, real-life icemen are invulnerable to such weaknesses.

4. Mole rats can live up to 30 years longer than any other rodent, and are thought to hold the secret to long life.

5. There are points between the earth and the sun where gravity is canceled out, known as Lagrangian points, or gravity holes. Any matter that wanders into these spots is stuck there forever, resulting in a buildup of material that could eventually reach planetary size, get pushed out by gravitational nudges, and collide with earth.

6. Bears know how to mimic human actions to beg for food. I wish my dog was this cool.


7. When it comes to choosing a new monitor, there are 3 types of LCD monitors. Ordered from most expensive to least expensive: IPS (In-plane-switching), VA (Vertical alignment), TN (Twisted Nematic). In short, TN is crap, VA takes the gold, IPS is for hardcores.

8. There are ALOT of FAIL pictures out there, and for some reason they don't get old.



9. Shia LaBeouf totally looks like a young Albert Einstein.



10. I'm about to get married. Megan Fox is single.

11. One sugar cube of Neutron Star material would weigh 100 million tons, making Neutron Stars the densest thing known in the universe.

Spotlight - "Life without limbs"

So, last night was not the typical evening encounter with my dad. "Hey Jon come watch this guy with no arms or no legs on tv talking about God". So, I figured hmm that's a little out of the ordinary small-talk, so I went and checked it out...

Meet Nick Vujicic, born in Melbourne, Australia, with the extremely rare Tetra-Amelia Syndrome (the failure of any arms or legs developing before birth) having only 2 functional toes which protrude from his left thigh. Only a few incidents have been reported worldwide, and most are born dead or die shortly after birth. Nick, however, survived, and as you can guess endured an incredibly harsh childhood. On the tv special being shown on the chinese network I get at my house, he was talking about how he even tried to drown himself in a tub when he was 8 years old, because he felt like his life did not serve a purpose. Amazingly, during his teenage years he began realizing that people drew hope from watching his ability to overcome his struggles, and eventually started his non-profit organization Life Without Limbs. He later began his travels as a motivational speaker after graduating from college at 21 with a double major in Accounting and Financial Planning.

Now, how incredible is it to see a man, born with arguably the greatest of disabilities, speaking about purpose and hope? As I look around me, I see so much complaining and ungratefulness that it honestly makes me ill. It is as if people in today's society cannot be satisfied with the gift of life. If one area of our lives does not meet our high expectations (job, health, school, money, vacations, relationships, etc) we feel like we have the right to be upset or unsatisfied.

A man with NO arms and NO legs was able to discover his purpose in life and has made a bigger impact on the world in 8 years than you and I have done in our entire lives!

This man has to struggle to turn on a friggin' light switch!
We, in our incredibly gifted and healthy state, choose to dismiss our gifts and live selfish and mundane lives seeking educational and career success as society defines it. We all need to stop living in a box and realize that the gift of life in itself is good enough. We have to start deciding how we will choose to use that incredible gift, regardless of our petty obstacles.

Greatest Memories - "Vinsanity at the 2000 Dunk Contest"

As you all know, the NBA All-star festivities took place this past Valentines weekend, bringing to memory one of the most exciting 30 minutes of my life: watching Vince Carter during the 2000 Dunk Contest. It was probably one in about 3 times my whole life when I've been completely frozen in awe, my mouth hanging open and my eyes all bulging. And you guys know I'm not one to easily show my emotions. I was one hell of a freaked out 15-year-old. You bet your ass I had a VHS tape in my ghetto tape recorder capturing every second, and I treasured that tape like it was gold. Watch the documentary below to understand why I will forever remember Vince Carter to be one of the greatest athletes/entertainers to ever live.



That is, of course, until Superman appeared on the scene in 2008...



Thank you Dwight Howard for making the dunk contest relevant again, and for reminding us what it's supposed to be about: showmanship, entertainment, and just plain old having fun. Bringing out the 12 foot hoop and the phone booth? I tip my hat to you sir, and thank God you've inspired Lebron to join the 2010 Dunk Contest. I can't wait to see him pull out the "3 lebrons" costumes and dunk while dressed up like an old man.

Is it a poop?

So i was at work fiddling around with a Christmas gift I'd gotten from my coworkers/big sisters, this little toy called "20 Questions". You have to think of something, and the toy will ask you 20 "yes/no" questions for you to respond to, and then it will guess what you are thinking of. Now, let me tell you, if you've never played it, go to Barnes or something and check it out. It will blow your freakin' mind. I'm sitting there thinking of the most obscure things, and it keeps on guessing them right on the dot!


(whoa..ok)


(wtf, how'd it know!?)


(how is that even possible? Love is intangible!!)

So I take it even one step further. I was kind of in a bitter mood that day so I'm thinkin, there's no way this toy has the word "Bitch" stored in its memory. So i go ahead and answer the 20 questions, like "Does it bring joy to people?", "No", etc etc...and lo and behold...

"Is it a woman?"

At that point, I was just sitting there in my office staring at the words on the screen for like 10 minutes. I mean, there is just no way this little thing equates Bitch to = woman.
Either the maker of the toy was as bitter at women as I was that day, or there was a glitch in the system. And try as I might, I can't get it to duplicate the answer I got that day. I'm starting to feel like that thing sensed my emotions that day or something...creepy man..

Debate Corner - "I've got El Nino in my pants!"

Alright, so I still feel like I'm not ready to post a blog about a serious topic yet, so I'll entertain you guys with a little debate. Me and my old high school pals like to have "worse case scenario" debates, which usually end up with me disagreeing with everyone else. So, here's a little conundrum if you will:

Let's say you're backpacking through a foreign country with your girlfriend, and you're going to be out traveling all day, when suddenly you spontaneously lose control of your bladder and completely soak your pants in pee. Now, I'm not talking about your grandmother's little accident. I'm talking El Nino in your pants, I'm talking about a 90% saturation level, and that sh*t REEKS something foul. Now, don't ask why you would suddenly just piss your pants, just imagine it. Now, the only spare clothing you have is your girlfriend's red prom dress which she is for some reason carrying with her in her backpack. So, here's the ultimate question:

Will you (Vote in the poll):
A) Choose to walk around for the rest of the day in your foul piss stained pants or
B) Strut your stuff in your girlfriend's bright red prom dress.


Keep in mind there are no clothing stores around you because you're at some tourist attraction in the middle of nowhere, and tons of people will be seeing you, and taking pictures of course. Basically, it's either A or B. And girls, try to imagine you are a dude. I of course, went with the dress, while all my other pals chose the "pee-soaked pants". What would you do?

Tidbits - "Don't kiss her she has cooties!"

As many of you probably know, I live with a doctor. He often likes to randomly quote ridiculous medical statistics and bits of knowledge, most of which I suspect to be completely fabricated in attempts to scare his children into being good little boys and girls. The many beliefs I have acquired during my time in the household include: a) Almost all my medical illnesses are either caused by drinking, smoking, or staying up too late, and b) Almost all medical illnesses can be cured by drinking lots of water and eating oranges.

Anyways, onto the topic at hand. Do you guys remember the times when we were young and had just learned about stuff like STD's and other diseases? We were so paranoid about "catching" stuff from other people by kissing and what not. Well, last night one of my family's dinner conversations went like this:

Daniel (my 13 yr old brother): "Did you know you can get AIDS by kissing someone"

Me (in my own head): "wtf..."

My Dad: "Oh really, how so?"

Daniel: "If they have a cut in their mouth"

Me (again in my own head): "wtf..."

My Dad: "Even if I directly injected your arm with a drop of pure HIV virus, the chances of you getting HIV is about 4 in 1,000"

Me (in my own head): "sweeeet" [then walk to room having survived another family dinner, and yet again gained a bit of medical knowledge that I still have no idea to be true or not]

Anyways, so yea I thought that'd be interesting to share with the bunch of friends I have in Med school. Considering the AIDS crisis going on in Africa, if those facts were actually true, something must be going seriously wrong over there...any thoughts?

I think it's about damn time we all stopped bitching about our petty lives, don't you?